A Bunch Of Deckheads. I trust you’re all well. What with the recent recruitment drive undertaken, a number of assumptions were made on my part regarding how DJ’s acquit themselves and curate their sets.
Given what they say about assumptions and the repercussions incurred on my part as a result my lack of due diligence I’ve taken it upon myself to devise A Bunch Of Deckheads code of conduct, The Ten Track Commandments if you like.
I've been in this game for years, it made me an Mogul
It's rules to this shit, I wrote me a manual, here goes…
1. Be nice. It’s gangster. Not just to the manager. Introduce yourself. The name on your passport, not your fucking alias. Be nice to the doorman, bar staff, toilet attendant and last and by no means least the patrons.
Yes their annoying, lack an appreciation for what you do, ask for shit repeatedly and in some instances have bad breath. I get it. Nevertheless you need to maintain a sense of decorum with regards to how you manage this occupational hazard. Also, you never know who you’re talking too. So be fucking nice.
2. Music. Music. Music. It’s all about the music. Cultivate your collection, manage, reset, exceed your audience's expectations and let people enjoy the music.
3. Enjoy yourself. No! Not get fucked! Have a drink by all means, but not to the determent of your conduct and set.
If you can’t enjoy what you’re playing you can’t expect the patrons too. Having fun is infectious. If you’re seen to be having fun I can assure you others will follow suit. Regardless of who’s in the room.
4. "CANI" stands for Constant And Never-ending Improvement. It's an acronym
developed by Tony Robbins life coach, author, entrepreneur and philanthropist. Don’t rest on your laurels. Research your music, source edits, mashups, hone your skills, get creative with your mixes and transitions. You don’t want to be predicable.
Demonstrate the best version of yourself. DON’T BE AVERAGE. Hold yourself to standards higher than anyone else would hold you to.
5. Read the room. Ladies first. Don’t accommodate any shit mind you. Most guys can’t dance for shit so their immediate recourse is to revert to dutch courage and buy drinks in order to engage with the women on the dance floor.
It’s probable you’ll have a packed dance floor, fellas buying drinks, busy bar staff, manager’s happy, sorted like a pack of peanuts! What if the venue isn’t busy I hear you say? Play for the bar staff. They’re your greatest allies. Keep them happy, they’ll want you back. I quote
‘Shit night. Great DJ. Can we have him back?’
6. Reverse engineering. Ask yourself if you were out and happened to stumble
across you playing, would you stay? I’m not implying that you play for yourself but think about the ambience you’re creating within the parameters you’re working within.
7. Manage expectations. At certain junctures of the night qualify if the manager is happy. While you’re not playing primarily for them, in a lot of respects you are. Besides it’s classy like school Monday to Friday.
8. Set a precedence. What’s your intent for the night? Are you on some we’ll see how it goes shit or are you looking to fuck shit up? How do you manage requests? Do you even take any? Are you looking to outdo yourself from the previous week? What’s your objective for each set? It could be that the manager specifically asks for you every week. Set a precedence and have some designs on your shit.
9. Think B.I.G Business Instead of Games. We have somewhere in the region of 40 DJs on the books. If were in this business it should be with a view to dominate.
There’s number of skills you have within your possession, intel we could be sharing that’s not being leveraged. This ‘Is there any work this week Hope?’ mentality will only get us so far and afford us so much. So lets start thinking B.I.G
10. Add value. Everyone on this imprint is replaceable, myself included. Real tawk! HR Ting! I frequently hear “we should this be getting this and we should be getting that” My response to that is what are you doing to warrant what you believe you should be getting?
Case in point I was responsible a for promotion that generated sales in the region of £750.000 over a two and half year period, only for the venue to tell us that we’re moving in a different direction musically and that wasn’t even by the manager concerned.
This isn’t some Johnny Big Bollocks shit. I’m not trying to impress you but impress upon you that if we raise the exposure of the imprint, we all stand to benefit. Sharing content, shouting about where you’re playing, joint ventures. Fucking whatever. Add value. We don’t get our shoulds. No one owes us SHIT!
Follow these rules you'll have mad bread to break up. Gotta go gotta go, more venues to call up, word up!